my own thing

questions that puzzle me?

2009-04-06T23:34:00.000-07:00

I really miss lukerz but why i feel this way? i'm no longer excited for the reunion "we" are planning. When we first talked about this reunion thingy it seemed that my heart was jumping and jumping and jumping, but now?? I don't know.. May be the excitement I felt before is already fear now. Fear for what, of what?

Err. I don't know! So many questions keep coming on my mind. I don't have the answers for all of it. But i guess one thing is for sure. Now, i'm afraid of facing the face i think i had burried already..? May be, i'm just afraid of being asked and asked the same questions i'd been answering before. But why should i feel afraid if i had answered those already? If i know what i should answer to them? Oh, simply because the person they are referring to will be with us.. with me. That would let the situation harder for me to handle.

*sigh* i don't know. Why i feel this way?! I'm afraid! I'm nervous! But i should forget all of those and think of one emotion I should feel--excitment. Atlast, i will be with my group, my companions, my friends that i met on the first stage of my teenage life-- the LUKERZ!:)

a poem for someone i know=)

2009-04-06T23:19:00.000-07:00

how could i let you feel
that what i feel is real
when fear covers me
and hurt is just there

everytime you're near
all i want is let you hear
what my heart truly beats
and ket you reach

i wanna sing this song
in front of you so long
with this guitar i hold
and the letter i fold

i wish i could whisper to you
what really makes me feel blue
and soon shout on them
that i love you and that's what i really aim

2009-04-06T23:09:00.000-07:00

i wish i could turn back the time
when we're all there in one line
having stupid yet funny joke
making each other choke

the laughter that filled my ear
is what i miss to hear
where all dancing on there
ang singing in here

the times we get them angry
when all we were hungry
seating on their way
with so much to say

all the tears that dropped
when all of us where cold and wrapped
are not wasted as what they might think
for all of those are not from our eyes
yet from our hearts when we sink

though i have them now
i still couldn't feel the same somehow
for i miss you all
that i used to know

poem for my friends.. i really miss them.. my old grupee:(

2009-04-06T19:33:00.000-07:00

bid of goodbye

2009-03-11T22:57:00.001-07:00

When I first stepped to the classroom of St. Therese, everything in me was shaking. Thoughts of negative clouded my mind not even thinking of one positive thing that may happen during my stay on that classroom. At first, I had a hard time talking with my classmate--new classmates, because, I admit I was not comfortable that time.

St. Therese class was composed of intelligent students, who have the higher intellectual ability among the other classes of my batch. And most of the students of that class were classmates since before. Me, as a stranger of them thought negatively pertaining their attitude because I was not used of having classmates that are more intelligent ( i think) than me. One more thing, this class has only 11 boys. I was surrounded with funny boys since I started highschool. Again, i thought that this class would be boring because there are no boys that will interrupt the teachers while discussing just to insert stupid yet funny jokes.

Guess what, I was absolutely wrong. My perceptions about that class were not the ones I saw as I stay inside that classroom. May be there are the fights, but I think it is common in all classes of highcschool. They were not that high, they are just like the ordinary ones that know how and when to joke. And I think, that erased the boredom thingy that i had thought before. Laughter filled the four cormers of the room as everyone shouts for a petition to have not a quiz. Scattered candy wrappers, food wrappers and everything. Yeah, we love eating, no matter what time it is, who the teacher is and what subject is.

Oh, of course, I would always love to reminisce the times we open our bluetooth and share the answers during our quiz!lol

Whoa. Everything fell in their places as the school year ends. No more gaps. No more fights. No more contradictions. Everyone is united, everyone are friends. LOve has already reign.

But, everytime that ending is near, that's the only time that everyone will be happy, and will be friends. May be too late yet we all know that times spending with each other may end but momeries never fade.